By Any Other Name
by Persiana13
Summary: Peach is upset about her name changing from Toadstool, and lashes out to the other characters on Super Smash Bros. Insanity ensues! One Shot.


**By Any Other Name **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Nintendo. _

One Shot 

A blonde woman wearing a pink dress and gold crown walked out on stage,

"Hello, everyone. My name is Toadstool and-."

Mario, a mustached man in a red cap and overalls, who was sitting in the audience, said,

"I thought-a your name was-a Peach."

Peach snapped,

"Shut up, linguini breath! I'm talkin'!"

Luigi, Mario's taller brother, shook his head,

"She is in-a bad-a mood."

Peach shook her head, and continued,

"As I was saying, my name is Toadstool, and I am irate. I am irate at the fact that I had my name changed and demand to know who the wise-ass was that changed it for me without telling me!"  
Mario said,

"Well, to be-a honest, Pe…Toadstool, your name does sound-a like you promote-a drugs, si?"

Peach scowled,

"What type of idiot would think I, a princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, a kiddie land, want to promote drugs?"

Adult Link, the elf swordfighter, groaned,

"This is definitely worse than the time she all wanted us to eat healthier."

**Flashback… **

Adult Link, Mario, Luigi, Bowser, and Toad are all sitting at a table, getting ready to eat. Finely silver dishes were covered in fine silver. Peach smiled,

"Now, for the main course! Dig in!"

Each of the seated guests opened their lids to find…steamed turnips. And, not ordinary steamed turnips; they look like the veggies Peach throws as an attack. Bowser, the spiked shell villain, took one whiff and threw his food against the wall,

"Screw you, lady! I'm orderin' pizza!"

Peach gave Bowser a murderous glare before she shrieked, grabbing her trusty frying pan, and beat Bowser senseless and eventually slapped him with her gloved hand so hard, he fell out of the window and into the moat. The princess of the Mushroom Kingdom turned, acting unnervingly chipper,

"Bon apetit."

**End Flashback…**

Peach rolled her eyes,

"Now, let me just say that whoever had my name changed to CHANGE IT BACK OR I'LL SHOVE THIS FRYING PAN SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, YOU'LL BE COOKING PANCAKES IN YOUR LIVER!!"

Kirby, the pink creampuff hero, licked his lips at the sound of pancakes. He ran out to find some.

Bowser, nodded,

"You know, princess. You're right."

Mario blinked,

"She is?"

Luigi gasped,

"You're agreeing with her?"

Bower nodded,

"Yep, and I'll tell you why…"

He pulled out a book,

"I wrote a book about all my epic battles with Mario…"

Link quipped,

"All of which you lost horribly I might add."

The fire-breather shouted,

"COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT, YA PUNK SWORDSMAN!!"  
Bowser cleared his throat, composing himself, and continued,

"Now, as I was saying, this book is a best seller and, it describes all the times Toadstool was pleading for me to spare her Mario, how Mario, by accident, beat me. It's sold millions of copies and now, I find out they changed her name and…DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG A REWRITE OF ALL THIS IS GOING TO COST ME?!! NOT TO MENTION, PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BUY ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT THE SAME THING!!!!"

Luigi shrugged,

"You could-a write as a special edition. Make money that way."

Bowser's face lit up,

"Seriously? Why can't I ever think of these things? Thanks, scrawny. Just for that, I won't kidnap Daisy tonight."

He giggled as he ran off, singing,

"I'm in the money, I'm in the money! Da-dah-dah-dah-da-da-da-dah-dah!"

Peach groaned,

"Moron. Anyway, I don't see why I have to have my name changed. Toadstool was a part of me from the beginning, and Peach just sounds…fruity."

Mario grinned,

"Yes, it is the pits."

At this, Peach glared and said,

"Mario, would you mind coming up here for one moment?"  
The Italian plumber complied and jumped on stage. Peach, waiting for Mario to turn, pulled out a golf club and swung, hitting Mario between the legs. Every male in the room winced at the sight, while Samus, the Metroid hunter, grinned underneath her mask,

"Nice."

Peach then kicked Mario off the stage, who was clutching his manhood. She said,

"As of right now, I am Toadstool. Got it?"

Everyone in the room nodded. Peach said,

"And, if I hear one someone call me Peach one more time…"

She pulled out a fan and slapped it down hard, making the audience wince.

It was around this time that Captain Falcon arrived on the set and waved,

"Hey, Peach. Has the meeting started?"  
Peach erupted, chasing after the F-zero driver, roaring at the top of her lungs,

"COME BACK HERE, FALCON!"  
Captain Falcon screamed girlishly and bolted.

Samus pulled out a camera,

"I'm gonna tape this. Anyone else wanna watch?"

The rest of the Smash Bros. community left to watch the eventual smack down of Captain Falcon.

Mario, however, was on the floor, moaning,

"Help."

End of One Shot

AN: Peach had her name changed from Toadstool when Super Mario 64 came out as a launch title. She was known as Toadstool during the SNES era.


End file.
